I used to come home from work every night to then sit on my laptop for a few hours. In fact at one point I remember making the declaration that I was going to institute a self rule that my computer must be off by 10 p.m. And it was a really hard rule to follow that rule. Mike was in the habit as well. So many nights we sat side by side on the couch, each on our respective laptop many times with the TV on as well. I called this dueling laptops.
Sometime around the start of this year, I stopped doing that. it was as if a switch flipped and the very last thing I wanted to do was spend one more minute staring at a computer screen, even if it meant being creative and sharing photos that I'm very proud of. I just didn't want to do it. And for the first time since I started this blog almost five years ago, maintaining it started to feel like a chore.
That is the last thing I ever wanted this blog to be. It was supposed to be a creative outlet, and suddenly I felt void of any creativity. Or the times when I did, I was simply to tired to put thought to keyboard.
It was around this same time that my job became the most demanding thing in my life. I started working more and wanted nothing more than to come home and zone out. What little energy I had was spent making dinner, doing the dishes, staying on top of my laundry and every once in a while picking up the phone when my mom or sister called. I admit I dodged their calls way too often, but I was exhausted and didn't really have much to say beyond "I'm working a lot."
My work schedule is still in hyper drive, but I'm managing with it and finding ways to not let it become my life. And even though I'm finding more time, it doesn't mean it's being taken up by blogging. The more time goes by, the more I realize I am OK with that.
The truth is, I'm not really sure what to do with my little corner of the Internet any more. I started this blog with the intention of keeping an active, current record of my writing that I could hopefully turn into a freelance career some day. Those dreams have long since dissolved. This blog then in a somewhat surprising twist of fate became the thing that launched my photo career. But I'm not really sure how much I want to make this a blog strictly about my photography. And at the same time, if I do want to make this a blog about my photography, I need to spruce up my blog platform significantly. I read a ton of photo blogs and this one doesn't live up to the caliber of what I think of as a good photo blog. Also I am not really sure how much of my life I care to share with the world any more. As such, at the same time I've stopped blogging, I've also kind of stopped using Facebook. Oddly enough, I've become more of a Twitter user despite being adamant that I didn't see the point in it for so long (ahem Kelsa and Lexi).
What does this all mean? I don't know. This isn't some grand going away declaration. I'm not closing up shop over here. But I also can't say how often I plan on updating. Who knows, maybe now that I have this off my chest the ideas will start flowing. I just don't see that happening though. As much as I used to make sitting on my laptop a part of every night, I've now done the opposite. This isn't a part of my every night, and I'm not itching to make it that again.
I do want to say though that my 365 project is pressing on, so even if I'm not over here, I am still providing glimpses of my daily life over on
Flickr.
