I Will Never Forget

Ten years ago, I wrote these words in my journal:

I walked out of my room in a dreamy sleep to see the World Trade Center on fire, then flip to the Pentagon and it's the same picture. Over and over again, I see this plane fly right into the World Trade Center and then pieces of it flying out the other side. Then this giant fireball practically the size of the building flares up. It looks like a terrible scene in a movie. 
I am still not completely clear on everything that took place but I do know this: Members of the Taliban hijacked five U.S. planes today. Two were driven into the World Trade Center, one into each tower. I am not completely sure but I think they have both collapsed. I am certain one has. Another plane was driven into the Pentagon and a section of it has collapsed. Another plane may have gone down somewhere in Philadelphia. But I am not completely certain of anything because everything is in Spanish. The images were enough for me to comprehend that this was a tragedy of catastrophic proportions. 

Everyone has a 9/11 story. Mine just happens to be set on the shores of the Mediterranean coast in Spain. I was two weeks into my fall study abroad program on September 11th. In fact, I was midway through my afternoon siesta when my host mom burst into my bedroom to tell me "Come quick! Something terrible has happened in the U.S." I don't think I have ever been more filled with fear as I was walking toward the TV in my host mom's house.

Today is a day filled with tributes and remembrances, but it's not really anything I can relate too. My experience that day and the ones following it was so foreign. Literally. I didn't participate in food drives. I didn't donate blood. I didn't attend a candlelight vigil. I sat in my host mom's house crying and trying to make sense of it all, which at that point was no small feat since my Spanish was still pretty terrible.

But while I can't relate to the typical 9/11 experience, my memories of that day and that time are still incredibly vivid. And what I remember most vividly from that day and the days immediately after September 11 was the goodwill of the world.

I didn't go to class the day after Sept. 11. Me and my fellow American study abroad students holed up in one of the computer labs and watched CNN online for hours. Once we emerged from our collective grief and anger, we went back to class - our classes that were filled with students from Sweden, Germany, Japan, Russia and England. What happened in New York was too big not to talk about, so we did. In Spanish, we talked about what happened in the U.S. We talked about what the U.S. was going to do next. My fellow students expressed their sadness for us.  They asked if our families were ok. They asked if we knew anyone who worked in the World Trade Center. And most of all they said what happened was terrible and how terrible they felt for us Americans.

Being told "Something terrible has happened in the U.S." is the first memory I have of Sept. 11. The second took place a month later. It was shortly after the U.S. began bombing Afghanistan, and my class was having a discussion about the U.S. invading that country. An American student, from Texas, and a student from Sweden were debating the merits of my country's diplomatic strategy. The Texan was arguing that we needed to show the Taliban that we were going to defend our country, and that we don't let attacks on our innocent civilians go unpunished. We were teaching them and all terrorist harboring countries a lesson. The Swedish student countered "With bombs?" He questioned our actions. He said more innocent lives would be lost and there would be no end. And in that moment, I knew we had lost them. I knew all that instant goodwill my country built up on Sept. 11 was eroding. The rest of the world was looking at us differently than they had a month ago. I saw it on my classmates faces.

I don't want to debate the merits of the war in this space and the should we or shouldn't we have, and should we stay or should we go. But I do know this: Whenever I think of September 11, I think of the day in that classroom when I saw the world's respect for my country vanishing into thin air. And I always think how we could have done something so much better.

This Makes Me Really Happy

According to my BMI, I've always been "overweight." Sure, I always think I could stand to lose 5 to 10 pounds, but that's just because I'm a girl. What girl wouldn't like to weigh less? But to have some supposedly reliable calculation tell me I'm outright "overweight" never sat very well with me.

That's why this article brings me great joy. Really 10 reasons why I should ignore my BMI? That's generous. I only needed one.

Does any one out there fall into the "normal" BMI range? I don't think I've ever met a single person who has.

Gone Too Soon

When I heard Ed McMahon passed away yesterday, I had a really morbid thought: I wonder who the other two will be. I am a firm believer that these things happen in threes.

So when Farah Fawcett passed away this morning, I wasn't too surprised. However, the news of Michael Jackson passing away this afternoon was a bit shocking. Really, Jacko's gone? I really thought he'd live forever, somehow adding years to his life with each successive plastic surgery.

By the time I got home from work, his death was all over the news. It was all anyone could talk about. NBC was apparently prepared for Jackson's passing. The network is currently running a two hour Dateline special on both Jackson's and Fawcett's respective lives and deaths.

It did bring me great joy to see that MTV had altered their usual line up of baseless, reality, shitastic programming to pay tribute to one of the people that made that network. MTV currently may have a program line up without any actual music, but it had the good sense to realize that Jackson's life was far more entertaining than the latest installment of the "Real World" franchise.

As a child of the 80s, I remember trying to moonwalk. I never could. One of the best records in my parents collection was the Thriller album. I still remember how when the cover opened, it revealed a tiger sitting at Jackson's feet. To a seven-year-old that solidified Jackson's bad assery in my mind. Obviously in recent years, Jackson's fame has revolved more around his personal antics than his musical contributions. He seemed so pained and so removed from the real world. While I know the world will mourn his loss, a part of me can't help but feel happy that he doesn't have to deal with the world any more.

Keeping with the ending theme of yesterday's post, name your favorite Michael Jackson (or Jackson Five) song. For me, it's hard to pick one aside from the obvious choices of Thriller or Billie Jean, but I will say I've always had a soft spot in my heart for Man In The Mirror.

What About Number Two?

I am continually amazed at the web sites that people create. Aside from a few sentences or a properly cropped photograph, I just don't think I'm all that creative. Especially when it comes to naming things. It's quite surprising that to this day Oscar is "Oscar" and not "My Cat."

I once had a teddy bear that I absolutely loved. I remember looking at it for a long time and not being able to think of anything suitable to name it. After a while I decided on Gund, which was not coincidentally the name of the bear's manufacturer. Seriously, the name was affixed to the bear in the form of a little plastic tag. I never removed that tag because, you know, that was his name. My bear came with his own name tag! And you're welcome Gund for all the years of free advertising my unoriginality gave you.

But back to these Web sites and other people's creativity. In my years of blogging, I've stumbled across a lot of good Web sites via other people's blogs. These aren't Web sites that will make the world a better place but they'll probably make you laugh, like this one, and this one, and this one, this one and of course there's this one, oh and this one, and I'm not gonna lie I check this one several times a day. And someone told me about this one once.

Every so often though, I'll hear about a Web site that just makes me say, "Huh? I can't believe someone thought of that." Like today, when I was listening to NPR. There was a four-minute segment with the creator of RunPee.com. It's a Web site dedicated to informing movie goers of the most opportune times during a movie to... use the facilities. I don't see movies in the theater a lot, so I doubt I'll use this Web site often. If I were a regular movie goer though, it would be worth a quick glance before catching a flick. I guess either that or not ordering a double big gulp.

Any one else got some creative Web sites they'd like to share?

Primarily Upsetting

All day various Chicago news outlets were discussing the low voter turnout for the fifth congressional district's special election. The fifth congressional district previously was represented by Rahm Emmanuel, but since he's gone off to help the president run the country, a special election was held. A special election. What a novel idea. Don't know why that wasn't considered for other vacant seats? (I'm looking at you Roland Burris!)

Some early reports said voter turnout for this special election primary vote was expected to be around 10 percent of November's turnout. It is disappointing to see that less than four months after thousands of people stood in line to vote in this district, only about one in six registered voters made it back.

What's even more upsetting to me is that I am one of the five that did not show up. I knew there was an election today, but never bothered to see if Rahm Emanuel was my congressman. I learned he was only too late to do anything about it. As Mike and I drove by our polling place on our way home from work, it was very much open. I had enough time to cast a vote (roughly 25 minutes), but hadn't done my civic duty. The only name I knew was that of the candidate my alderman asked me consider. And while I like Gene (he sends very informative, weekly emails), I can't go on his word alone.

In the end, I did not vote. I do feel bad about this and utterly stupid for not actually looking into this race beforehand. I had listened to plenty of news reports regarding this election but never once took the time to do my research. If I had, I would have seen that not only do I live in this district, but that there were plenty of candidates - probably one I would have even wanted to elect. One thing I know now as the result of this post is that the special general election is April 7. I will be voting then.

I keeping wondering though , should I have gone? Is it better to cast an uninformed vote than it is to cast no vote at all?

In the spirit of democracy, what would you have done: A) Voted or B) Not voted C) Gotten your shit together beforehand and made an informed vote.

And By Live You Meant Exactly What?

Are you kidding me MSNBC.com? How is it that I was watching your "Live Coverage" of the inauguration and ended up missing President Obama being sworn in as well as his entire speech? What part of live coverage do you not understand? If you are in fact "live" you think you'd show what was actually happening - not what I now realize were clips from earlier this morning while your pundents talked about the historic significance of this moment. How about actually showing this historic moment, you deceiving SOBs!

I missed this moment in history. It's over. I was sitting in my office alone watching your BS online coverage not knowing what I was missing. I could have easily walked down the hall to the cafe and watched this unprecedented moment live with several of my co-workers, but I didn't. You know why? Because I didn't know it was happening! Because you said you were live! But you were not!

I now need to find video the actual inauguration and watch the freakin' replay. And you know what, I will not be trying to find this video through your Web site because me and you, MSNBC.com, we are through.

My Birthday, Part II

Remember back in Oct. 07 when I was so excited to have found this NPR program called Wait Wait Don't Tell Me? Well I didn't think you would, hence the link. I've been listening to this program ever since I located its airtime, and since then I've also found it online. This "oddly informative new quiz" program has become kind of a staple of my Saturday mornings or slow work days.

By far the greatest thing about this show is that it's taped in Chicago. Ever since I found that out, I've wanted to go. My birthday was the perfect excuse. I looked for other things to do in the city, such as attend the symphony or a concert but given the crappy timing of my birthday there were not many options. Honestly though, once I remembered Wait Wait Don't Tell Me I didn't want to do anything else.

The show is taped live on Thursdays and airs on the weekend. On Thursday night, Mike and I stayed downtown after work. We used one of the many gift certificates we have accumulated to eat dinner at Petterino's (a new restaurant for me). Then we walked down the street to the Chase auditorium and caught the show.

Heading into the auditorium, I was afraid that because they had the past two weeks off due to Christmas and New Years that the host and panelists would be a little rusty. I was so wrong. They were raring to go. The show as it airs is only 45 minutes. The taping, however, was two hours. I learned that a lot is said during the live show that cannot air. It is a shame though because it was some of the funniest stuff. There was small segment about the porn industry's request for a government bailout and the tangents that sprung from that were hilarious, but also not suitable to air. While not everything made it to the broadcast show, they had plenty of material to use. And the result is the funny, informative show I have come to love.

If you'd care to hear my laughter (mixed in with everyone else's) you can listen to the show here (no special downloads required). And for those of you wanting to follow like I do (probably not many) it's also available on iTunes as free podcast.

Say It Ain't So

Every evening on my way to the train station I cross a bridge over the Chicago River. And almost every evening on the bridge come rain or shine, sleet or snow there is a man banging away on a homemade set of drums. He's pretty good, this man with his drumsticks and plastic buckets. He always does his best to get the passersby involved by chanting "Go! Go! Go! Go!" or shouting something topical at a pause, like "Cubs win!" or "It's the weekend!" (on Fridays). Today it was "Blagojevich sucks!" Pretty fitting on the day when our governor was hauled into court by the feds. See, he's topical.

For any of you who did not catch any portion of any news segment today, Illinois' governor Rod Blagojevich and his Chief of Staff John Harris were arrested at their homes around 6:15 a.m. on fraud and conspiracy charges for things like.... well, oh, you know nothing too big he thinks. Well except the gov he a huge fan of bribery. He then well he tried to get dissenting editors of the Chicago Tribune fired in exchange for help with the sale of Wrigley Field (owned by the Tribune) to the state. He also threatened to rescind state funds to a children's hospital because he didn't get the $50,000 in campaign contributions he wanted

The worst by far though was his attempted sale of the president-elect's vacant senate seat - a seat he and he alone can fill via appointment. His pay to play agenda for this seat was the straw that broke the camel's back. The feds had been investigating the gov for more than three years and his comments regarding this seat were what sent the feds to his home. According to Blagojevich, this seat was his golden goose. In his words, "(It's) a f*cking valuable thing. You just don't give it away. ... I've got this thing, and it's f*cking golden." Aside from a corrupt moral character, he's also got a bit of a potty mouth.

As a Chicagoan, it's embarrassing. I am incredibly proud to live where I live. Nov. 4 was an amazing day for this city and the state of Illinois. To have our image tarnished a little more than month later makes me angry. My mother called me tonight to talk about pretty boy Rod's arrest. My Michigander mom, fresh off Detroit's coverage of Mayor Kwame Kilpatrick's obstruction of justice conviction, pointed out that at least Michigan's corrupt politics stay at the city level. We're big time here in Chicago though. Our corrupt politics are statewide!

But the really embarrassing part is that Blagojevich ran on a election platform of cleaning up corrupt Illinois politics. This was a winning slogan because his predecessor, former Illinois governor, George Ryan, is barely into the second year of his 6.5 year jail sentence on federal corruption charges. It cannot be proven that Illinois is the most corrupt state in the U.S but as Robert Grant, special agent at the FBI Chicago office said today, "If it isn't the most corrupt state in the United States, it's certainly one hell of a competitor."

As I listened to NPR today, coverage of the governor's arrest was thorough. It was the second story on the BBC's 10 a.m. new hour, for Pete's sake. This overabundance of coverage left me a bit peeved as I walked home, so that's why as I passed over the Chicago River on my way to the train I couldn't help but shout out "Blagojevich sucks!" during the drummer man's pause. I still think this is an amazing city in a wonderful state. Most days I will talk up its attributes to anyone who'll listen but today it was easier to scream that in fact our governor does sucks.

Not A Yes Or No Answer

I listen to NPR all day pretty much every day at work. Even though the programs change on the hour, there are weeks where certain news topics will dominate in some way almost every program on the station.

When the mortgage bubble burst, the topic was the housing crisis. Before we elected a president, it was who were we going to elect as president. After we elected a president, the topic shifted to how do you feel about having a black president. When stocks went tumbling, news coverage of this topic soared. And now the latest question posed to the national conscience that has overtaken the airwaves - should we or shouldn't we bail out the auto industry?

My sister and dad both work in the Detroit auto industry - my dad as a tool and dye man for 30-plus years and my sister as a mechanical engineer for the past eight. I do not take discussion regarding this question lightly. Having gotten to where I am today by way partially of a GM paycheck, I can't answer yes or no without envisioning the immediate impact of either response. Yes and my family keeps their jobs, their pensions and food on the table. No and I wonder how my parent's retirement will be hit. With a no, I feel for my sister's family who was just getting accustomed to becoming a two salary household. But I can't say yes to a bailout without thinking the obvious - aren't these companies responsible for the terrible business decisions they made? As a government (and taxpayer) should we really get into the business of bailing out businesses?

In talking to my sister about the sorry state of the Detroit auto industry, she is quick to point out that competitive foreign markets are subsidized. Japanese automakers have been on the cutting edge because the government has supported them in doing so. That is a distinct advantage and one that in some ways has created a very uneven playing field.

The playing field though has warped at our own doing. As much as American auto companies produced in mass giant, unnecessary gas-guzzling SUV's, we bought them without regard to their abysmal fuel efficiency. Yes, they were pretty, they were fancy, they hogged roads and parking spaces across the country, and we bought into it all. And now we pay the price (literally) at the pump.

This failing of the auto industry has been in the works for some time though. As a kid, I can't tell you the number of times my dad was transferred from one plant to another, put in the jobs bank, taken out of the jobs bank only to be put on midnights, then on strike, then put back in the jobs bank and taken out again only to switch to another plant. As a kid it was too much to keep track of, so I didn't. Most kids can probably tell you where their father works. I, on the other hand, growing up was surprised every few years to drive by "dad's plant" only to find out that it wasn't dad's plant anymore. I couldn't tell you the location of where he works right now. As much as I may not have understood the location, I knew enough to realize that his irregular job patterns where a symptom of the larger company problems.

That brings me back to my original question - should we bail out the auto industry or not? I say no, but only because I don't think bailout is the right word. I think the big three deserve an infusion of cash, but not so they can keep doing more of the same. Detroit and its imaginative, engineering minds need to do different, do better, do efficient and reemerge to once again be pioneers in the field they created. I know it's impossible to say 'Hey you, car makers, here's $25 million, now you go make something we can be proud of.' It's not that easy. But as one of the last industries in this country that actually makes something, I think they deserve the opportunity to try.

A favorite blogger of mine summed this up more eloquently than I ever could. As someone who's made it their mission to document Detroit, his words mean something to me. He said (and I encourage you to read this entire entry as well as the comments):

One thing I like about GM, Ford, and Chrysler is that they are companies that still make something. What do the vast majority of the Fortune 500 companies even do? What does Goldman Sachs do? What do all those companies in Silicon Valley make? They shuffle paper, sure, transmit blips of binary code, attend important meetings, and make "deals." Maybe brown people somewhere across an ocean will make whatever it is they're selling or shuffling on paper or e-mailing each other about. But in Detroit, and in plenty of other industrial cities across this country there are still people making things without exploited labor, and believe it or not that still means something.

The Junior Senator From Illinois

He is our president-elect. And I and the city of Chicago could not be more proud. (See photo at right - taken on my lunch hour this afternoon.)

For those of you wondering, no I did not make it to Grant Park last night. Mike and I decided instead on a dive-y punk bar that was far enough away from madness in downtown Chicago. (Our co worker's band was playing at said bar.) I don't find myself in too many punk bars, but last night as the results came rolling in and we cheered in unison around two small TV sets, it felt right. I saw grown men cry and same-sex couples embrace at the news that Obama had surpassed the 270 electoral votes he needed. It was a beautiful moment - one that left me with a lump in my throat.

I realize not everyone shares my or my city's almost singular enthusiasm for the president-elect. About 56 million people, in fact, do not share this enthusiasm. However if you are in that 56 million, I offer you this slice of hope.

My sister sent me an email this morning. Her boys, 6- and 8-years-old, voted in a mock election at their school yesterday. She coaxed them awake this morning by asking if they wanted to see who one the election. As they watched the news, Jordan, the 6-year-old, says "Yup, Obama won." My sister tried to impress upon her young son the significance of this news. "Jordan, this is a huge moment that he won," she said. Jordan's bored response was "Yeah, yeah, I know ..... the first brown president." As my sister said his dismissal (while funny) is a reminder that her boys are growing up in a generation where the color of some one's skin is not newsworthy.

That right there is hope and a change we can believe in. And I think everyone can agree, regardless of party lines, that hope is a beautiful thing.

Economies of Understanding

I know little to nothing about the stock market or global finances for the matter. I don't even balance my own checkbook. So to say I understand the current financial crisis would be a lie. I do not. However, I listen to NPR all day, every day at work, so in the last few weeks when the stock market has taken a nose dive I knew that people were afraid. I felt I too should probably be afraid, but I didn't know why. I had no idea how bad the market it was, how it had gotten so bad or how much worse it could get.

This crisis put me in a panic but I was especially panicked because I didn't know why I should be panicked. It was hard to tell how this financial crisis could impact me personally. I am making the highest salary I have ever made and have more in savings than I ever have. Sure I have some money in my 401K but I consider that a long term investment, so I'm not worried that it's currently in pretty poor shape. Then I saw this article on the Chicago Tribune's Web site. Thankfully, I do not work at either of those firms, but I see in a very real way how I could be effected by this economic fallout. Not to mention, I'll be paying back that $700 billion dollar loan in one way or another.By the way, you're welcome Uncle Sam.

I knew I was angry and frustrated by the financial crisis, but I still didn't know why or if I even had a right to feel the way I feel. I once again turned to NPR and in particular a program called This American Life, produced here in Chicago. It had run two very informative programs about the financial crisis. I listed to both, the first titled "The Giant Pool of Money" produced in May when the worst of this mess was the housing bubble and subprime mortgages. Knowing the public wanted more information, This American Life followed up with a show a few weeks ago with a program appropriately named "Another Frightening Show About the Economy." I now feel more informed then I ever have before. Each show is an hour long, but it's two hours worth your time if you're confused. I recommend listening to each at least one time. This is honestly some of the best reporting I have heard in a long time.

Educated Voters

I was looking at this Web site today and came across the following article. In it are links to Education Week's articles about Obama's and McCain's education platforms. The articles are a bit out of date (pre-primary decisions), but give some insight into the candidates' past stance on education. And as the author states, their previous eduction reform efforts may be the best insight into their future endeavors.

So if education is one of your issues, here is their take on Obama and their take on McCain.

Grossly Informative

I don’t consider myself a germ-a-phobe. I don’t feel the need to wash my hands 1,000 times a day. I don’t freak out if I don’t have hand sanitizer on me at all times. I don't go AWOL on people who sneeze within 5 feet of me. I also rarely ever get sick, so I just generally don’t freak out about germs – at least I didn’t.

There is this article in my new Health Magazine . I read it last week and have not stopped thinking about germs since. Let’s just say I learned a lot I may not have actually wanted to know. It was aptly titled “The 12 Germiest Places in America” and should you choose to read this article, you too might start thinking differently about grocery shopping. “Saliva. Bacteria. Fecal matter. Those are just a few of the choice substances Gerba found on shopping cart handles. Carts rank high on the yuck scale because they’re handled by dozens of people every day and you’re 'putting your broccoli where some kid’s butt was,' says the professor of environmental microbiology."

Ick.

The Daily Bread

I learned tonight that GM union employees went on strike. My sister called to inform me of this tidbit of news. Any UAW or GM activity has always been important to my family because our breadwinner's checks came from General Motors.

My dad has worked for GM (or divisions thereof) for more than 30 years. My dad, and to some extent the entire family, has weathered 30 years of talk of strikes, strikes, night shifts, day shifts, evening shifts, the jobs bank, plant closings, buyouts and the threat of no pensions or severance pay upon my dad's departure from the company. Our family has been through all of this many times over (once again, mainly my dad) and after 30 years, I am tired.

I don't want him to work late nights, or walk a picket line or lose his pension. It's always been my hope that once my sister and I were out of the house and his breadwiner title had diminished, he would say good bye to GM, as well as all the perks, and all the hassles that come with it. Because I'm tired, so I figure my dad must be exhausted.

An Oldie But a Goodie

I was on a stationary bike at the gym the other day catching up on my world news. The closest TV to me happened to be showing some sort of news talk show on CNN. I’m not one for the news programming on CNN, but I always enjoy watching the ticker, mainly because as Jon Stewart had pointed out before, it does not discriminate. You never know what is going to scroll across the bottom of the screen. John’s favorite example is its mention one day of the Iraq conflict immediately followed by the fact that Beyonce no longer wanted to use the word bootylicious.

That day at the gym I learned it’s never too late for a comeback. Apparently, someone in Germany had found some undiscovered music by Bach. This new tune showed up in a crate filled with 18th century birthday cards which luckily had been removed from a German libaray shortly before it burned to the ground. I am sure this music will be played by someone, somewhere, but it remains to be seen if it is good.

If it is, I am waiting for the day the CNN ticker will say Beyonce and Jay Z’s remix of it has reached No. 1 on the Billboard Top 100.