March 1, 2009

The Freedom Of Choice

I am at the point with my running that I always reach during any training program. I am at the point where I want to throw up my hands and scream with all my increased lung capacity I HATE RUNNING! I do. I hate running. At least right now. Maybe not forever. But right now, I can honestly say I hate running.

I had my first four-mile run today. I did it, but it wasn't fast and it certainly wasn't pretty. I ran it in 48:35. Yup that's averaging more than a 12 minute mile. It's so far off from my goal of less than a 10 minute mile that I really just want to end this whole stupid training program.

The problem is I have accomplished my real running goal. My ulterior motive was to use this training program to get my sorry bum into the gym on a consistent basis. And you know what, I have. This past week I made it to the gym four times, and I was slacking. I usually make it five. When my training is over, I want to make it to the gym as often as I do now but to do what I want to do. Not what Hal Higdon says I have to. Ideally, I'll do Pilate's on Mondays, a cardio and strength class on Wednesdays and Fridays and a cycling class on Saturdays. Throw in one more day to do whatever I want (maybe even run), and I'm golden. It's the freedom to choose what I want to do that is now my real motivation. Not this stupid race.

I will run my the Shamrock Shuffle. It's still four weeks away, but damn it I am done pretending like I enjoy training.

1 comment:

kelsalynn said...

Okay, in your first sentence you say it was your first 4-mile run and then later you beat yourself up for not running it at YOUR GOAL TIME... HELLO YOU CRAZY CAT YOU!!! You're not supposed to run your FIRST RUN at your GOAL pace- that's why it's called A GOAL PACE! Argh... don't make me come up there and smack you missy.

You did great- when was the last time you ran 4 miles? Next time you run, your goal is to go 10 SECONDS faster per mile. that's all... not TWO MINUTES per mile.

But first, repeat after me:
"I'm doing a great job. I'm doing a great job. I'm doing a great job."