I ran a 5K this morning, but I'm not terribly happy with myself. Yes, it is great that I was able to get myself out of bed at 7 a.m. on a Sunday morning to run 3 miles, but I'm not happy with my finish. When I crossed the finish line with my co-worker and friend, Sarah, the clock read 42 minutes. Granted, we started the race probably 3 to 5 minutes after the clock started running. Even so, at best we still finished barely under 40 minutes. I have a hard time feeling good about running 13 minute miles. When we ran, I am sure our pace was closer to 11 minute miles, but I felt the need to walk. Sarah and I hit the two mile mark and my brain was screaming for me to stop and walk for a bit. I did and Sarah stopped running with me.
Sarah and I also ran a 5K about a month and a half ago. That 5K was terrible. We ran it right after work on a 85 degree day with about 90 percent humidity. I remember feeling like I had to drink the air in gulps because it was so thick. We stopped to walk twice and finished in 38 minutes.
This morning the weather could not have been more perfect. It was sunny, crisp, and 65 degrees with a slight breeze. Based on this fact alone, I expected my time and performance to improve. It did not. We ran practically the same race. The thing is the conditions were perfect, but my training had not been. Prior to the race, the last time I ran was two Saturdays ago. I won't go into the woes of my schedule (because those of you who read this blog often enough know), but there was not much time to run. However, it frustrates me because even if had gross amounts of time to run, I question if I would have. My motivation to run, workout, eat healthy, be healthy in general has been low. I know a rut, and I am in one.
Almost two years ago, I undertook one of the only sporting challenges I ever have. My former roommate Sara and I ran the Shamrock Shuffle - the world's largest 8K. I was not a runner at that time by any measure, so committing to running 5 miles was a mental and physical challenge. Sara and I did it, and accomplished every goal we had for that race. It was an amazing feeling to cross the finish line. One that I'd like to feel again. But even beyond the finish line, I found a physical strength in the months leading up to the race I didn't know I possessed. That time was the healthiest I have ever felt in my life. To think where I was then versus where I have digressed to now makes me frustrated.
I plan to run the Shamrock Shuffle again this year. I need some kind of motivation - a tangible goal. I want to challenge myself once again. I miss the feeling of accomplishment. It's a much more welcome feeling than the disappointment of having to stop and walk after two miles.