Where I See Myself

I spend a lot of time dreaming right now. Awake or asleep it seems my mind is always set on what is to take place in the future.

It's not that I'm some aimless drifter with my head in the clouds, always pondering the great what if. It's the exact opposite. I know exactly where I want to be in five years, and I'm so excited to get there. But the thing with the five year plan is that is takes five years.

I never used to be able to answer that question: Where do you see yourself in five years? The answer forever eluded me. My standard reply was always some sort of philosophical, non-committal response - something along the line of, "Well I don't know if five years ago I could have predicted that I'd be where I am today. So I really don't know where I'll be in five years, but I hope it's grater than anything I'm thinking of right now." It's a great non-answer.

I was reading a blog entry the other day of a very gifted photographer who's taking her final exams for school. She's expressed her anxiousness to finish with classes and just get going with her life. I remember that same restlessness of the last few months of my senior year of college. I knew my exams were a formality, and that in a month's time my real life, beyond my school and everything I'd known for the previous four years, was just waiting to start. I kind of feel like that these days. I've got a clear vision of where I'd like to be, what I'd like to be doing in five years time. I'm presently doing all I can to get there, so I've just got to wait for the pieces to fall into place.

On Sunday, Mike and I were running errands when I suggested we hop over to a neighborhood in the city that's been peaking our interest as of late. It's a great old neighborhood with brick bungalows and mature, arching trees lining the streets. It's not anything I would have thought I'd want five years ago, but I found my self oohing and aahing over homes that suddenly didn't seem that far out of reach. After coasting down several city streets, Mike and I found a neighborhood joint and ate our lunch outdoors with beer in hand. We talked about the future, about the common things we want - a yard, dogs, studio (for me), a garage (for Mike) - and did that wishful sort of planning young unmarried, folks with no kids can do on a Sunday afternoon.

As Mike and I headed back home on Sunday evening, to our perfectly fine neighborhood in a great part of town, I found myself dreaming of the day when we will be living in the perfectly fine neighborhood in that other part of town. Someday, I know it will happen. I just need to be patient and give it about five years.